Time is on my side. Yes it is. Desiree called me on Friday, deep in a wrestling match with “time”. Tag me in, its my turn to fight this monster head on.

“You look pretty in your fancy dress
but I detect unhappiness.
You never speak
so I have to guess
you’re not free.”
–Old Enough by The Raconteurs

I’m obsessed with this song by Jack White and his buddy Brendan Benson. The band (check out their sweet site) released the whole album just a week after this single hit the airwaves. Song is about someone talking to the pretty girl who puts that tough front on, always running through everyone on her way to nowhere. The singer tries to give out advice, almost brotherly, that something may come down the road and being brash and beautiful can only help so much. The more you appear outwardly confident and brazen, the less strength you possess on the inside. Speaking from experience, pausing and judging is better. Running and leaping only works about half the time. Jump out of enough hay lofts into rickety wagons and you are bound to get a rusty cut.

“Think about this carefully,
you might not get another chance to speak freely.”

Time is a commodity. It can be quantified, counted and reserved. You can save it. You can waste it. You have all of it in the world. And none to spare. It can be on your side or it can get away from you. I put it number one on my stress board. The checklist in my brain cross-references the clock ticking in my heart. Once I start rolling down that list, the ticking becomes louder and more painful.

I’m a brooder. Time is my common opponent. Nightly checks of when I should get up and head to the job. I always go in earlier, rushing out the door with just a quick glance at the newspaper and a promise to resume the push-ups tomorrow. Hope is the rage in the morning, so much is going to get done..on time. And when the time comes, it has successfully slipped away. So I spend the night laying there, thinking about all the times I’ve seen before. And I feel time is passing me by. Where was I two years ago (getting ready for the Black Cruise)? Where was I eight year ago (summer internship with a minor league baseball team)? Where was I 16 years ago (playing second base on the Galway Machine…hit .654 with my pink batting glove)? Those times come quicker than where was I two months ago. I believe my time now is wasted.

Do you spend enough time loving? Do you spend enough time caring? Do you spend enought time improving? Do you spend enough time relaxing? Do you spend enough time living?

Did you take the time to say what you wanted to say? Is there enough time to say it again? Did you say it in time? Oh, I love that last one. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Shorn’t. (Office reference). My instincts are very sharp, yet I don’t often take the time to trust them. Like wearing a pink batting glove, not the right decision at the time.

The battle is keeping time from controlling you. Accept the time you are given and take the time to enjoy it. When you find the time to be inspired, waste little time in immersing yourself.

Hence this poem I wrote below:

Replacement 1/25/07

Replace the tape
the old dirty relic
songs repeated and tiresome, melodies a bore
Bring back the classic
the solid gold record
tune after tune
wake the words and strong vibes


Eddie Vedder turns the trick
note after note
song to revive me
His words are painful
anger smothers his voice


A few songs come back
and scream for hope
Fight for redemption
days come
and days go


Your footsteps must continue
and it will be so..

–VC