This blog has stuttered and stalled. The fire settled into smolders, despite many dry leaves blowing all around. Mid should still be cooking but the Green Giant took over his freezer. I should not run to that site. But I did.
An increased workload has diminished my expression. The great American way.
Mid’s doing his part, I never meant to drag him. I’m the one running around town like Brittany Spears. Getting free drinks and self-appreciation from the local bar one minute, razor my hair away the next. 30 seconds to Friar Tuck, two minutes to Brian Urlacher. I didn’t buzz my curls for all the questions, for all the looks. I did it for simplicity, for something clean. My life of re-tread and laziness comes not from my recreation, but from my indignation.
I’m the kid who grew up wandering the hayfield, making friends with the sounds and the sights. Real companionship came in animal-form, spawning a curiosity towards humans that has yet to quenched. I look right at you, walking towards me in the special way that marks your humanity. Some sulk and turn in-ward, scared by my size or my stare. I’ve always come simple and direct, a hello early and a smile lasting. I accept and open up my space bubble, eager to learn who and why. I ask the same in return.
I am unused to being the forgotten one. Had a friend in college named John. No body remembered him. Not even his football coach, who forgot to get John the varsity letter blanket after playing all four years. It was a fun joke in the house: take John to meet a new group people and return the next day, betting on how many couldn’t recall his actions. We went to a football game two days before Christmas and John dressed up as Santa. So did the guy two parking spots from us. And about 3,000 other drunks. None wore their smile as wide though.
The last 10 days I have become John. Three out of four meals, the waiter forgot I had ordered. I got to sit and test my patience as all others ate away. I am shocked. Big and bright, I arrive. Clothes you never saw, a gaze you never felt. I constantly observe and re-con. I know your name. Remember your walk. Grab your details. That I care, is the meaning of the word. Do you care?
Just cut out a whole paragraph of weeping and self-misery. Because it was set on repeat for the last two year.
Tomorrow has begun. Tomorrow is yesterday. And I am scrambling. Because of you.
Your hello was fake. Your goodbye was forced. Your interest an act. Your compassion a must. Your reverence diminished out of habit.
Just keep walking by, I see something ahead.
Nothing Else Compares 7.13.03
Her eyes are blue
brilliant with passion.
But not enough.
One girl’s figure
shaped to twist necks,
isn’t enough to keep
the inner fire from extinguishing.
The blonde in her hair
smooths the chocolate in her eyes.
The diamonds in her ears
sharpen the white of her smile.
The calm of her skin
soaks the precious
softness of her lips.
Her elegance and grace
combine in a magical instant.
She flicks her soft hair
behind her ear
it falling into a perfect line.
The perfection
lies not in the details
but in the complete package
Imagine each individual color
shining on its own plane
of beauty.
But combine all the colors
in a single brilliant rush
and the purity
rushes at you
in one
single
white light.
No explanation.
No questions.
Just an awe.
She is nameless forever.
Never forgotten.
Her eyes noticed
but her expression wouldn’t admit.
I’d seen her before
seen her lick her lips
seen her comforting eyes
beckon.
Her hand flashed
to wipe her mouth.
Done with such grace,
such confidence.
Nerves begin to show,
her white nails
scratch at her face.
Imperfections only evident
in her mind.
She has none.
Her beauty speaks to me
in waves.
Crashing in my ears,
leaves my lungs grasping for more.
More of her air.
My eyes scream
please save me.
Please look at me
with the warm vision God gave you.
Ease my thoughts
with your words.
What is her name?
Where is she from?
What makes her smile like that?
She looks tired,
a bit lost.
And then comes a laugh, a joke.
Followed by her personality, flowing like the river
that swallows my thoughts.
Drowns my consciousness.
And I left,
thankful to have been there.
–VC
